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General Writing Sample Task 1 #40

You should spend about 20 minutes on this
task.

You live in
a room in college which you share with another student. You find it very difficult
to work there because he or she always has friends visiting. They have parties in
the room and sometimes borrow your things without asking you.

Write a letter to the Accommodation Officer at the college and ask for a new room
next term. You would prefer a single room. Explain your reasons.

You should write at least 150 words.

You do NOT need to write your own address. Begin your letter as
follows:

Dear Sir/Madam,

Model answer 1

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with my room-mate. As your know we share
one room, I can not study in the room at all any more if I still stay there.

She always has friend visiting and has parties in the room. They make lots of noise
and switch on the radio very loudly, for me this environment is very difficult to
study and I need a quiet room. Even borrows my things without asking, it is very
impolite.

I request you can give me a new room next term because I have been asked her has
parties in other place many times they still have parties in the room. I really
can not stay in the same room with her.

I would be grateful if you could change me a single room.

EXAMINER’S EXPLANATION

Band 5

“The answer is below the word limit and there is some repetition
of the task rubric. (Length is a common problem in General Training scripts). Answers
that are short lose marks because there is insufficient material in the answer for
the examiner to give credit for accuracy and coherence. Despite these problems,
the introduction to the letter is appropriate and the purpose of the writer is clear.
The points are not always linked together well and punctuation is sometimes faulty.
The sentences are kept quite simple and mistakes occur as soon as more complex structures
are attempted.”

Model answer 2

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing you to express my dissatisfaction with my roommate and request for
another accommodation next term.

My main problem is that I cannot study in my room because my roommate always has
friends visiting. He also has parties which usually end early in the morning, several
times a week. Furthermore, he often borrows my things without asking me.

I cannot accept this situation any longer. Especially because I have very important
exams next term and I really must study hard. This is why I would be very grateful
if I could have another room next term. It would be most convenient for me not having
to share my room with someone else.

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Your faithfully,
Ivan Sidorov

EXAMINER’S EXPLANATION

Band 7

“The answer is also short. Although ideas are often provided in
the task rubric, candidates are at liberty to include some of their own ideas in
their answers. In this case, the candidate has attempted to incorporate some original
material. The answer reads quite fluently, is well organised and there is good use
of conjunctions to link points. There are some grammatical errors but these do not
affect the reader greatly and there is evidence of some more complex sentence structures.”

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